(Sort of!) flourishing.....

...tho' NOT the way I was planning/thinking/hoping...
DH is doing his own thing now, away from me and kidlets
Work has had its busiest moments/weeks since I can recall from the start of my working life (25years)
Inspite of the end of, what I thought was THE "(im)perfect marriage", it isn't/wasn't to be...
Still, I have flourished.
Got the house, filling it with love/light/brightness; got a new car to transport us safely & worry-free; got up-to-date with bills and money/budgeting; eating better/fresher/less; got more friends/contacts/social life; got support; got sorted/organised/clearer; got more relaxed and 'at ease'; even got myself a neighbour who taps on her window to say "Hi"...Just because.
Not in the way I hoped but still, I have flourished.
I am more honest (like I wasn't enough already!!), can deal with 'uncomfortable'; I still do 'everything' though now with mindfulness and a little more grace....
I am me. Imperfectly perfect. And I've done it/I do it................yep, too right:
............................................
......... with a f l o u r i s h !!!!

(WOTY) "F L O U R I S H"

My year's word is 'F L O U R I S H'....I nearly plumped for nurture
From last year's lack of contentment- yet plenty of content!- I intend to flourish and blossom; to be my usual effervescent, expressive self, full of joy, enthusiasm and confidence in me.
I intend to seek a permanent house (i.e. our OWN!!) and begin to fill it with love, fun, treasures and light, letting us all flourish within its walls.
I like this word 'cos it incorporates 'OUR' and that's what I think we lost in 2009.
Not only do I intend to flourish, I hope to nurture flOURishing once again
I intend to.
Will do.
Can do.

7 month gap....winter of discontent?

Hmmmm, all's not quite the contented life I was expecting to be living. I guess that's the 'life's what happens when you make other plans' theory...
Me, I'm working, working, working...then working some more at home it seems.
DH is now back on the 'self-employed' track after 'retrenchment'; I am doing a temporary senior role (until end Dec '09) then I get nearly FOUR weeks off work!!!!!! WoooooHooooooo!! I'm actually really enjoying the change from my previous role as well!!! :)
My life has pretty much run on the 'much of a muchness' theme for some months now...I've lost my mojo along the way since DH had a crash in our brand new car (April 29th); 5 days old it was and then some eejit slams into the back of it.
He's not been the same (tho' he won't admit it- pretty distant, irritable and 'rundown') and I've found the last few months to be a real emotional strain to be honest. I've not handled it well at all. Maybe it depressed me for a while there, I'm not sure.
Working F/T; up then out the house for nearly 12 hrs a day, 2 hrs of that is the travelling, then back home where I often spend a couple of hours doing housework, sorting kidlets etc....whilst DH is often either asleep or playing Poker on a certain website....hard trying to keep everything together when I feel more and more 'pushed away/rejected'. I'm a tougher cookie though, I can rise above it.
I finally get to 'relax' around 9pm and am tired enough not to do any creative stuff: just end up doing things like play games on a certain well-known site that begins with 'F' and people contact each other on (the same one DH plays Poker on!!!)....
Anyhoo, the upshot is that I have been able to juggle things around enough to deal with my friend (still living here!) and the merging of our lives for a longer period of time than was expected. I have dealt with alot of inner doubts and conflicts about DH and the way he's been and I have decided that, although my word of the year was 'content', I suppose I can be content that things aren't worse than they are.
On a material content level, I have FINALLY (after YEARS of coveting one!!) got an Apple Mac...LOVE it.
I got an iPod (good deal!!) for my- self-purchased!-Mother's Day present and now an Apple Mac for my- self-purchased- birthday & Christmas pressies so, after years of coveting these lovely things, I am well happy. It means I can actually use my own laptop (most of the time!!) DH's having the other laptop he bought fixed (kidlets. too many downloads or dodgy links!!)
We still have a roof over our heads, bills are paid (well, under control anyways!!), food in our bellies, I can get to work to earn the regular income.....
All will be well again
all will be WELL
All is well.
Content?
Hmmmm, maybe not so much. On the other hand, maybe alot?

So little to add after so long a time but still, friends are the mainstay of life atm

...yes, sad but true!!
Well, if I really put my mind to it, I could find heaps of stuff to add but I've not uploaded the relevant supporting photos mainly due to a lack of finances/time/motivation!!
All is on the change tho', DH has a new job....at last!!! Now, we can- hopefully!- look to reacquainting with our plan and look towards buying our own house.....we shall see....
We have a friend and her daughter staying whilst she sorts out her life 'out of marriage'...
We have friends coming to stay next month as well
I have friends who support me through all that is unpleasant and difficult-to-digest
I have friends who make me laugh when times are tough and very, very hard indeed.
I am grateful
Grateful I am
Grateful.

Loooooonnng, loooooong time

....since I blogged!!!
Mainly because my life became bogged down with moving (then 'fighting' a claim from ex-landlords); overseas visitors (here for 4 months); work hassle and 'busy-ness'; DH working interstate for a few weeks; Christmas and NY season; reduced money (I'm now an excellent 'juggler', err, I mean accountant)and so and so forth....really quite boring but has been quite overwhelming for me, particularly as the 'dynamics' in our family unit were different for a time.
Now, all is just a hazy memory as, from Tues, life will be back to how it was: Me working- via train/bus; LOVE it! DH being the SAHF- he gets to spend time with kidlets and we reduce our outgoings!! and DH looks for work here, not interstate etc. Ridiculous palaver and such a negative impact on our little unit. Just not worth the extra dollars.
My "Word of the Year" is going to be CONTENT.
Content as in happy and Content as in well, content. What's contained within: both me and our lives.
Richer, I intend to be. And not in a fiscal sense.

A VERY looooong time.........of JOY

....since I've been around here!!
I have been busy with moving house etc (and a jolly nice place it is too!! Near the sea- love the sea!)
We've had a fair few 'incidents' along the way since I last posted.... like the ex-landlords wanting an excessive amount, well ALL, of the bond! Nastie Pasties.
DH is still looking for work, I'm still trying to find peace & harmony, work's been really busy (ridiculously so!!), we have guests from the UK, I've been trying to reclaim my 'mojo', been trying to keep up with all things scrapping (tho' I have snuck in a few pages!!), trying to settle the kids in their new school, trying to keep up with communications (letters, emails etc), trying to keep my patience with telcos..........perhaps my word of the year should've been 'trying' or 'try' rather than'jOy'!!!!!!!!!!!
Still, inspite of everything, there IS joy. :)
Deep, quiet, inexplicable, smiling, robust, calm, knowing and overwhelming JOY.
Strange but true, oh so true.
The Universe smiles; bestows upon me; this I know now. I could not be happier
Truly
Madly
Deeply
Joyfully
Joy

Give with one, take with the other....

...that's how it's been the last week.
Got the residency approval (Yay)and DH is made redundant (Nay)
Me & DH get ill then better (Yay) then DD gets ill (Nay)(but is getting better (Yay)
Optician tells me I could be diabetic (Nay) but, after testing, I'm not (Yay)
Somewhat surreal. If I'm off with DD on Friday, this will've been my shortest working week ever!!!
And that could only be a Yay.
Oh JoY, jOy,JOY, joy.......